Story time with Sarah Hoover
The art-world insider on the benefits of complaining, the eternal chic of the Delia's catalog and her new memoir 'The Motherload.'
Sarah Hoover is ready to hear your traumatic birth story — or, for that matter, any story that strays from Instagram-perfect motherhood. That’s a good thing because any woman who races through her excellent new memoir The Motherload: Episodes from the Brink of Motherhood and has such a tale to tell might feel compelled to share it with her. “I don't think there's any married straight woman who hasn't been frustrated with her husband, or any mom who hasn't felt let down by some part of the experience of giving birth, being pregnant or having a newborn,” she said.
As she prepared to leave on an 11-city book tour last week, she regretted not having the bandwidth to execute her original idea to host “Complaining Salons," inviting interesting women from each community to come together and swap stories in solidarity. “The antidote to all of my problems all the time is complaining to my girlfriends,” she added. “Complaining gives you a vocabulary to explain what's wrong with your world. You can't fix it until you can admit what's wrong.”
Complaining to those aforementioned girlfriends was a crucial first step in emerging from the wicked postpartum depression she experienced after the birth of her son Guy, now 7, with artist Tom Sachs. (She has since had a daughter, Winifred, who is 8-months-old.) Writing Motherload, published last week, was perhaps the last. In the memoir, Sarah tells all, sparing no insecurity or unflattering moment. The stories, gleaned from her extensive journals written in Cartier Panthére notebooks, are colorful and highly detailed. Along the way, she weaves in sparkly stories of working at a blue-chip art gallery in New York and meeting her husband, plus lots of dark humor — she muses that a dinner party with her many women doctors and therapists would be very chic — feminist art history, issues of medical consent and the barbaric origins of modern gynecology.
In both the worlds of art and fashion, Sarah is known for her personal style, an unabashed embrace of arch femininity, worn with a wink and a smile. “I gravitate toward color and mini skirts and matching sets, things that have a little sparkle, and a little mix of tomboy,” she said. The ’90s-era Delia’s catalog is a deep-rooted inspiration and she sprinkles in some Japanese kawaii elements from trips to Tokyo. “It’s sort of a return to idealized childhood play,” she explained. For evening, however, she often does an about-face: “After 8pm, I feel like sexy, sleek and black is where it’s at.” More from Sarah on fashion, art and culture below…
The one thing I wear everyday…is my Anita Ko ‘G’ necklace. It’s very delicate with pavé diamonds. When I had postpartum anxiety, I had this paranoia that something bad would happen if I didn't have the letter G on my body. For Guy’s fifth birthday party, I had a tattoo artist come and got a G tattoo so I absolved myself of this need, but I still wear the necklace.
If I were to swap wardrobes with any person living or dead…it would be Kate Moss. She has the best vintage from every decade and I am sure that every piece carries at least one fabulous story in its stitching.
My favorite places to shop for my kids…Bonpoint, La Coqueta and Pepa London for my daughter. I dress her very old-fashioned. My son is at an age where he rejects little French clothes and only wants to wear skateboard sweatshirts that are six sizes too big. Weirdly, I like Acne Studios for him. They have well-made, cozy sweatpants in candy colors.
My best advice to expecting moms…is that you may not feel love for your baby at first, and it doesn’t make you a monster. That’s the one thing that really broke me but it's really hard when you are in a depression for which a traumatic birth was a catalyst to find joy and happiness in parenting. On a more practical note, remember to bring your Belly Bandit to the hospital.
The best advice I got from my mother…don’t attribute to malice what is better explained by stupidity.
The best books I’ve read recently…Sarah Manguso’s book Liars was incredible. The book that blew my mind is Reproduction by Louisa Hall. It’s fiction but becomes sci-fi in a subtle way, and it has the most beautiful description of birth I’ve ever read.
The best writing advice I’ve received…is ‘Write drunk, edit sober.’ My agent told me that.
My favorite city to see art…is Paris. What I find so special are the museums that were originally homes, like the Musée Cognac-Jay and Jacquemart-André, which are both beautiful. I like going to the galleries — Gagosian (a surprise to no one) and Thaddeus Ropac because I love being in the Marais. The blockbuster shows at the Vuitton Foundation are incredible. The Pompidou is probably my favorite museum building in the world, not only because it's wild looking but also because it’s so easy to see art in the giant square rooms.
The art and culture I’m looking forward to in 2025…two exhibitions — Cy Twombly at Gagosian Madison Avenue and Rashid Johnson at the Guggenheim. The New York City Ballet’s winter programming is amazing. They’re staging Concerto Barroco (my favorite Bach) and bringing back the full two-act Swan Lake. I can’t wait to watch Unity Phelan’s debut. And in spring, American Ballet Theater will bring Wayne McGregor’s Woolf Works back to the Met Opera and I am going to see every single show.
Editor’s note: for more of Sarah’s thoughts on art, subscribe to her newsletter Study Hall with Sarah Hoover.
loved this!
chic!!